Sunday, February 07, 2010
ok.. i am feeling lousy now. =(
i really tot of giving up on reading bible on sunday morning. though i told myself that it's ok to make mistakes sometimes while reading.. i still feel that it will be better for me to give up my place to someone who can do a better job than me.
maybe becos i am a perfectionist.. or probably i jus have high expectations of myself.. so whenever i stumble/ misread words/ no voice out of sudden/ or like todae accidentally say 'eh'.. i will feel terrible cos i didn convey God's words well to his people. and i felt super duper guilty abt it. =(
but it may also becos i didn really commit myself fully to the job itself. ya.. was kinda busy and i always practise it only on saturdays.. and i will start worrying/ being panicked that i will read wrongly.. or jus worried that i gt no voice suddenly.
=(.. i felt EMO! =(( always malu myself in front of church people and they mus be thinking tt i am a super lousy lector, hoping that i can opt out of this job on my own ba. =((
should this yr be my final year being lector? i am considering btw.. cos i really lost confidence of myself le..
and hope that God can give me an answer for this..
off with a smile ended @ 9:28 am
